missing months

I havent posted since July . Its hard to know what to post these days .
Life has been like a train ..it feels as though I sped between stations .. had a sudden change of track and signals and then sped off again . Back on full steam .
Nothing can stand still for long in this house.

keep swimming ..keep swimming .. was always the mantra to stop myself from drowning in the stresses of life . Then everything fell apart over the course of a few months .
My husband moved out , the children were devastated and we chose a new direction . Along the way we have found many things that work really well for us as individuals and it feels like im swimming to maintain those things. For the most part life seems a little easier. But the stresses are still there .

The ones that really tear people apart from the inside.

The epilepsy monster is lurking ..and he is getting braver , showing his face all too often to attack my sweet girl.

Im not sure Im ready to face fighting this again so soon after the huge upheavals of recent months . I am still surrounded by people I love and people who love me in return and in some ways I am stronger emotionally than ever before.

But the future is so uncertain in so many ways .. i have enjoyed the time where this monster lay sleeping. I dont want to focus my heart on this yet . But there is no choice.