It was D's birthday on Friday and we had planned a family bbq this weekend . A chance for both our families to get to know each other . Ridiculously some of them havent even met , the fact that we have both split from ex partners with children involved on both sides many family members have reservations about meeting each other , which is hard to understand for others who have openly accepted and supported us from day one . My family thankfully totally accept D and honestly I think would stand by me through anything . He has spent time over the last year with my family, on his own playing golf with my dad, and is really good friends with my sister and brother in law , nieces nephews and even my ex partner spends a certain amount of time around us and all the family. My children are happy and treat everyone they meet with respect. Sadly their feelings are not always respected by others . People including members of both our families make insensitive remarks and probably have no idea how their actions may affect young teenage girls trying hard to settle into a new life . And thats just where we are now . Settling into a new life , decifering slowly who is included in that life , who wants to be part of it and what role they play. Are they once a year visitors ? fortnightly ? daily ? how much do you matter in OUR life and how much do we as a family matter in yours ? Its time to establish with everyone that going forward we are a family with many little extensions and branches some more significant to our everyday life than others. We recognise there will be ever changing ever growing and developing relationships within our lives nothing stays the same forever. But for now the stress of the BBQ idea seemed too much this weekend. Im tired , gaining weight and losing sleep . The thought of catering for so many physically and emotionally isnt really what we want from our life right now . We need a little down time . Time for everyone to settle some more and take their own time to decide how much a part of our future they wish to be .Much of that will be on our terms thats for sure . We have both learned from the past that there is a limit to what we will do to keep others happy and comfortable .Without wishing to directly offend anyone we will make small changes to our life to accomodate others feelings at times but there is a line drawn in the sand somewhere and it cannot and will not be crossed . We wont carry a burden of hurt to suit others.
My new baby will be my existing childrens brother or sister . All my children deserve respect and care from everyone and I will accept nothing less .
So we cancelled the plans , my ex husband took his daughters for a weekend of fun and D and I escaped for some real time out just the two of us and catch up on some much needed sleep....
We arrived at our destination late at night and were shown to a small tidy loft room with a small window looking out into the darkness . Wondering if we had made a good choice we settled down for the night in the cosy B&B bed and slept undisturbed all night .
Waking early on Saturday I peered out of the small window and was greeted by this ..
Perfect !
A full English breakfast and a hot shower later I was really glad we decided not to camp this weekend . We set off exploring the area .
We visited Man Owar bay and Durdle Door .. the long cliff ledge walk and gazillion steps down to the clear water bay was lovely however the climb back up was a bit steeper and harder than I had remembered from a previous visit . Id had forgotten how tiring it could be especially at 18 weeks pregnant with your fourth child. Exhausted we headed back to the B&B to ready ourselves for dinner . Where I promptly fell asleep for far too long ! I woke disorientated and unmotivated for a big night out . So we settled for a fish and chip picnic on the beach to watch the sun go down and a full moon light the evening sky . It was windy but a warm evening , high winds sweeping the clouds of the day away clearing the way for a much nicer Sunday .
As predicted SUnday was a much nicer day. An overwhelming tiredness hit me this weekend . I think it may have been simply that I relaxed for the first time in a few weeks , really properly relaxed ! 12 hours sleep at the very least , a nice walk around the local town and lunch at The very pretty Smugglers Inn in Osmington topped off a perfectly relaxing weekend for us both before heading home . I hope you had a wonderful weekend D . Happy Birthday darling.. looking forward to the rest of your birthday treats in a couple of weeks time .
A truly relaxing time is lovely in every way possible but I have to say the sound of my girls giggling and chatting their way down the garden path is always a welcome sound on a sunday evening after a weekend with their dad.
Time out is nice ... TIME IN can be equally nice when we are allowed the time to just BE .
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